The Day After the Attack of the Pink

Last night I abstained from the typical Friday night activities --and damn, it feels good that the Pav did not get a hold of three of my pounds for once...

However, it seems by not painting the town red I caught myself a nice case of pink...eye, that is.

Pinkeye, or for you ER-junkies, conjunctivitis.

• an inflammation of the conjunctiva (the outermost layer of the eye and the inner surface of the eyelids). Causes redness, itching, swelling and oozing.

Lovely.

There are three common varieties of conjunctivitis, viral, allergic and bacterial. I will go ahead and state the obvious: I have obviously fallen victim to some form of bacteria. Who would have imagined, living so cozily in this little den of infestation of mine.

Student accomodation is not for the faint of heart--or immune system. It is a battle everyday. If you want to emerge somewhat unscathed and considerably healthy: suck back the OJ, invest in some multi-vitamins and cross your fingers. And even then, it is an uphill battle.

Considering that most students incorporate frequent binge-drinking escapades, late nights and inadequate (if not downright bizzare) eating habits into university life, it is a wonder more of us do not fall victim to some sort of Deplorable Conditions mortality rate.

Nevertheless, the student, particularly one living away from home, is a hearty creature. Termites come to mind:

• Both are "economically important as pests that can cause serious structural damage to buildings"
• Both "typically inhabit dark nests and tunnels"
• Both are social species, living in colonies that exemplify "decentralized, self-organized systems using swarm intelligence to exploit food sources and environments" otherwise unavailable or undesirable to the individual

...so that explains the bar phenomenon?

• Oh, and both student and termite colonies typically contain "nymphs, workers, soldiers, and reproductive individuals of both sexes, sometimes containing several egg-laying queens"

...freshers, P.I.M.Ps and floozies.

Or am I thinking of cockroaches...

• Both are generally scavengers
• Both are mainly nocturnal and will run away when exposed to light
• And both are perhaps among the hardiest species on the planet, capable of living for a month without food and remaining alive headless for up to a week.

(Okay, the last one applies only to cockroaches because I know plenty of students that have managed their entire university career despite a "headless" state of one kind or another.)

• Students and cockroaches have the ability to slow their own heart rate--students accomplish such a feat with excessive alcohol consumption--I do not know the cockroach's secret.
• Researchers have found a balance between cooperation and competition in group decision-making behavior
  example-- girls travel in packs to washrooms,
  and the ubiquitous phrase, "I'll have another if you do"

• Both depicted as vile and resilient pests in popular culture
• And both are popularly suggested to "inherit the earth" after the destruction of humanity in a nuclear war.

Well....at least it sounds like I will survive Pinkeye.

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Helpful hints for ridding yourself of a cockroach/student infestation:

1. keep all food stored away in sealed containers
2. use garbage cans with a tight lid
3. frequently clean kitchen and regularly vacuum
4. seal off any entry points, such as holes around baseboards, pipes, doors, and windows with some steel wool and some cement or putty (Or, change the locks).